Sunday, August 31, 2003
Ahhh.... passive resistance; I see. Sorry about that ;)
Okay, so rather than standing her ground, she's decided to lie back and simply permit him the liberty of trampling all over her. I mean. what the fuck? This isn't like her at all o.O
Saturday, August 30, 2003
Well, guess what folks? As of today, I am now official proprietor of the indisputable "best saturday job in the World, ever". I'm so happy, I really do have nothing else to say. I love you all. Goodbye *^^*
Friday, August 29, 2003
Currently listening to: nothing - Ryan rather idiotically erased his entire Mp3 collection under a false pretense. And if thou knowest what's good for you, thou shalt not probe further - capiche :P?
Anyway... at precisely 11:30am, on the morning of Friday 29th of August, Ryan was obliged to supplicate himself before the intellectual acumen of a prospective employer, in advance of being held subject to weighty verbal scrutiny which took the form of a prodigious interrogation and cross-examination of his individual merits, both academic and otherwise. To paraphrase, Ryan partook in a job interview at Maltby Books, a diminuitive - albeit nonetheless, distinguished - retailer of modern literature, hidden away at the very social and cultural heart of our beloved hometown. Fortunately, the "interrogation" in question was, as a matter of fact, rather a convenient opportunity for one to flaunt one's recently-acquired GCSE qualifications, wax fortuitous concerning one's A-Level prospects, and come across as an absolute cliché by means of ascribing one's motivation for applying to a particular need for "broadening my horizons by working in a job which will allow me to gain experience in a wide range of necessary skills" and the innate desire "to be considered as an individual, to work in an informal and sociable atmosphere where I can feel accepted as 'part of the family', and not simply like an expendable, utterly replaceable pawn, as might someone who works in a larger chain like Waterstone's". In short, I surpassed myself; in fact, I sincerely doubt the interview could have gone better had I rehearsed it beforehand. Heck, I even shook their hands - go me!
To top it all off, given the relative seclusion of the locale at hand, and the decidedly informal nature of the entire "screening process", I am actually inclined to believe that I may well have been the sole applicant for the position in question. Well anyway, I am loathed to jump towards a premature evaluation of my job prospects; I can presently do nothing more than to remain quietly optimistic, and continually hope for the best. Wish me luck :P
N.B. Zoë, I think it's a crying shame for you to have dismantled the "Good Li'l Catholick" section on Ladylux; you see, I never did get around to picking a favourite, and now that they're being published, I guess I'm just gonna have to wait in line before I can read them, along with everyone else. But of course, that particular scenario fails to take into consideration the precise nature of my prospective future employment, not to mention the somewhat... unique benefits of being assigned to work in such a place. Hehehe. Anyway, good luck all the same, and if anyone rejects your work, just refer the culprits to me and I'll send them letters of indignation so audacious; so utterly crammed with wanton verbosity that they'll never be able to look at - let alone, read - another letter, ever again. Who knows, perhaps they may even go out of business... after all, the pen is forever mightier than the sword - mwahahaha ^^
Well, must dash; unbeknown to the rest of my family, a certain kettle is currently in the process of ascending towards a steamy crescendo, and I wish myself to be first present at the point of climax, so to speak. So, once more do I bid you a fond farewell, and may God bless and keep you all :)
Anyway... at precisely 11:30am, on the morning of Friday 29th of August, Ryan was obliged to supplicate himself before the intellectual acumen of a prospective employer, in advance of being held subject to weighty verbal scrutiny which took the form of a prodigious interrogation and cross-examination of his individual merits, both academic and otherwise. To paraphrase, Ryan partook in a job interview at Maltby Books, a diminuitive - albeit nonetheless, distinguished - retailer of modern literature, hidden away at the very social and cultural heart of our beloved hometown. Fortunately, the "interrogation" in question was, as a matter of fact, rather a convenient opportunity for one to flaunt one's recently-acquired GCSE qualifications, wax fortuitous concerning one's A-Level prospects, and come across as an absolute cliché by means of ascribing one's motivation for applying to a particular need for "broadening my horizons by working in a job which will allow me to gain experience in a wide range of necessary skills" and the innate desire "to be considered as an individual, to work in an informal and sociable atmosphere where I can feel accepted as 'part of the family', and not simply like an expendable, utterly replaceable pawn, as might someone who works in a larger chain like Waterstone's". In short, I surpassed myself; in fact, I sincerely doubt the interview could have gone better had I rehearsed it beforehand. Heck, I even shook their hands - go me!
To top it all off, given the relative seclusion of the locale at hand, and the decidedly informal nature of the entire "screening process", I am actually inclined to believe that I may well have been the sole applicant for the position in question. Well anyway, I am loathed to jump towards a premature evaluation of my job prospects; I can presently do nothing more than to remain quietly optimistic, and continually hope for the best. Wish me luck :P
N.B. Zoë, I think it's a crying shame for you to have dismantled the "Good Li'l Catholick" section on Ladylux; you see, I never did get around to picking a favourite, and now that they're being published, I guess I'm just gonna have to wait in line before I can read them, along with everyone else. But of course, that particular scenario fails to take into consideration the precise nature of my prospective future employment, not to mention the somewhat... unique benefits of being assigned to work in such a place. Hehehe. Anyway, good luck all the same, and if anyone rejects your work, just refer the culprits to me and I'll send them letters of indignation so audacious; so utterly crammed with wanton verbosity that they'll never be able to look at - let alone, read - another letter, ever again. Who knows, perhaps they may even go out of business... after all, the pen is forever mightier than the sword - mwahahaha ^^
Well, must dash; unbeknown to the rest of my family, a certain kettle is currently in the process of ascending towards a steamy crescendo, and I wish myself to be first present at the point of climax, so to speak. So, once more do I bid you a fond farewell, and may God bless and keep you all :)
Friday, August 22, 2003
To remain standing whilst riding the bus into Cheltenham (and back) is not entirely unlike learning to snowboard. I shall refrain from elaborating upon this point here, as anybody who has ever caught a number 94 bus into Cheltenham will comprehend the inference... notwithstanding the fact that I sincerely doubt anyone cool enough to have "snowboarding" down as a pastime would ever be so kindly disposed as to grace my humble blog with their presence :P
Anyway kids, it has lately come to my attention that I am once more to be cast adrift upon a veritable ocean of possibility, aboard this make-shift inflatable lifeboat of meagre academic qualifications, and continually blown hither and thither by the winds of incentive toward distant realms of wealth and opportunity. I kid you not; the first time in two whole years that one might consider me deserving of a brief sojourn from academic pursuits, and yet again am I to be dragged, kicking and screaming, into the fray. To paraphrase, Art "holiday work" is the greatest injustice since the AQA examining board saw fit to emburden me with an "adequate", yet nonetheless acutely disappointing, B in Drama. That's right: I think it may well be time again for me to sharpen those prevaricatory pencils and compose a strongly-worded "message of goodwill" to aforementioned examining board, outlining the nature of their crime against not only myself, but anally retentive, pretentious arsewipes the World over :P
Self-pitying bullshit aside, I'm sure you're all literally dying to find out how my GCSE results compare to your own. So here they are, in descending grade order, served up on a proverbial platter for your auspicial delectation; may you forever bask in their reflected glory ;)
Art & Design: A*
English Language: A*
English Literature: A*
German: A*
History: A*
Biology: A
Mathematics: A
Physics: A
Chemistry: B
Drama: B
I was, in addition, fortunate enough to have obtained a provisional A* in English Speaking & Listening... which, though not objectively speaking a "stand-alone qualification", is surely deserving of individual merit, in its own right :P
In other news... Regan and Lisa are finally back home. 'Nuff said; the scattered fragments of my social dodecahedron are slowly but surely falling back into place, which is nice. Also, due credit to Lisa, Regan, Zoe, Shez, Will, Smith, Gemma, Max, Jenny, Jess, and The Rest for bloody brilliant results of which I am certain you are very proud; and remember: no-one can begrudge us our right to a good, healthy bout of self-gratification from time to time. Flaunt your results, children! Announce your presence to the World!
And as for me? Well, I'm off to cast myself adrift upon the very private nether regions of a vast and boundless sea of possibility that I affectionately refer to as "my mind". Goodnight, and god bless you all ;)
Anyway kids, it has lately come to my attention that I am once more to be cast adrift upon a veritable ocean of possibility, aboard this make-shift inflatable lifeboat of meagre academic qualifications, and continually blown hither and thither by the winds of incentive toward distant realms of wealth and opportunity. I kid you not; the first time in two whole years that one might consider me deserving of a brief sojourn from academic pursuits, and yet again am I to be dragged, kicking and screaming, into the fray. To paraphrase, Art "holiday work" is the greatest injustice since the AQA examining board saw fit to emburden me with an "adequate", yet nonetheless acutely disappointing, B in Drama. That's right: I think it may well be time again for me to sharpen those prevaricatory pencils and compose a strongly-worded "message of goodwill" to aforementioned examining board, outlining the nature of their crime against not only myself, but anally retentive, pretentious arsewipes the World over :P
Self-pitying bullshit aside, I'm sure you're all literally dying to find out how my GCSE results compare to your own. So here they are, in descending grade order, served up on a proverbial platter for your auspicial delectation; may you forever bask in their reflected glory ;)
Art & Design: A*
English Language: A*
English Literature: A*
German: A*
History: A*
Biology: A
Mathematics: A
Physics: A
Chemistry: B
Drama: B
I was, in addition, fortunate enough to have obtained a provisional A* in English Speaking & Listening... which, though not objectively speaking a "stand-alone qualification", is surely deserving of individual merit, in its own right :P
In other news... Regan and Lisa are finally back home. 'Nuff said; the scattered fragments of my social dodecahedron are slowly but surely falling back into place, which is nice. Also, due credit to Lisa, Regan, Zoe, Shez, Will, Smith, Gemma, Max, Jenny, Jess, and The Rest for bloody brilliant results of which I am certain you are very proud; and remember: no-one can begrudge us our right to a good, healthy bout of self-gratification from time to time. Flaunt your results, children! Announce your presence to the World!
And as for me? Well, I'm off to cast myself adrift upon the very private nether regions of a vast and boundless sea of possibility that I affectionately refer to as "my mind". Goodnight, and god bless you all ;)
