Superfluous Third Wheel

I'm completely down-to-earth!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

Speaking of E-mail backlogs, mine is a sucking chest wound and, at best, one sympathy questionnaire short of rendering me certifiable. These days, I just leave the dead alone.

Jonathan: For someone who shares surnames with such an eminent bureaucrat, she's certainly wanting in the cranial department.
Hillary: Names, Jonathan; names. Not genes. Or brain cells. Although that might go on to explain the apparent absence of either.
Max: Well, surely her talent warrants some recognition?
Jonathan: Her "talent" is only noteworthy in that she has none worth noting.
Max: Oh, I wouldn't say that...
Hillary: 'Honey Blair'... yes, that's the cat. One of those superficial, conciliatory names designed to make first impressions for one, when one is incapable of making an impression for oneself. I'll warrant they rarely live up to expectations.
Max: Hm, well, I'll grant you that; she tasted nothing like the stuff.
Jonathan: You should've kept the receipt.
Hillary: You know, Max, you've made the transition from harmless ingènue to philandering pervert so gradually, I barely even noticed.
Jonathan: Max does everything gradually; getting elected, for example.
Max: Anyhow, that sounds somewhat rich, coming from a man with 'Hillary' for a name.
Hillary: Aww... was I not quite what you were expecting?
Max: No, quite the contrary. That's what worries me.
Jonathan: Well, if anything, these flexible hours have done wonders for my sex life.
Max: I thought you and Deborah weren't having any?
Jonathan: Your point?
Max: Nothing at all, only she looks like she could be quite a wizard in the right quarters...
Jonathan: Oh, certainly. She need only lift that sheet and, as if by magic, the erection disappears.
Max: ...just not for you, eh?
Jonathan: She's cultured, all right; albeit only in the viral sense.
Hillary: You can't culture a parasite, Jon.
Jonathan: You haven't met my wife.

This constitutes my first attempt at a humorous dialogue. Feel free to laugh, just remember not to point; that way, I can always imagine someone else to be the object of ridicule :P

"It's the American way: I sue you, so you sue him, so he sues the other guy, so the other guy sues his mom, so his mom sues Eminem, Eminem sues the government; everyone else sues the government, America is declared a Communist nation, and Russia takes over."

"I love my essay, I don't want to turn it into a hoop-jumping piece of trash that's just like all the other essays that the examiners will read on the subject."

Too true; I know exactly where you're coming from -.-

Whilst it holds true that the whole notion of homosexuals being permitted to marry essentially contravenes the original religious principle behind marriage as a tradition in itself, in an era where heterosexual marriages regularly take place between complete atheists, perhaps it is high time that the government re-addressed and re-defined the term "marriage" in a broader context. Of course, were the institution of marriage a purely religious symbol, its ends would be exactly that: symbolic, and therefore of no interest whatsoever to those of a non-religious disposition; however, marriage within our society has never been purely symbolic. It is long established that society tends to discriminate in favour of married couples for reasons of practicality, and, given such premises, it would doubtless constitute outright discrimination to deny homosexuals the right to formalise their union in the eyes of the law, considering that the traditional view of marriage as a purely religious symbol is long since obsolete, and that homosexuality can only ever warrant condemnation on religious grounds - grounds which do not represent the foundations on which any forward-thinking society should base itself. Thus, from a Christian perspective, perhaps John Kerry is principally opposed to the idea of gay marriage because of its implications for the sanctity of marriage as an institution, rather than any personal antipathy towards gays (which would, of course, render him a hypocrite, as Smith's post implies).

I would post concerning Zoë's Birthday Bash, but I'm sure that the photographs (will) speak for themselves - although no amount of verbalising could possibly do sufficient justice to the sight of moi, donning my leather, to the combined mock-horror and amusement (or is that vice-versa?) of all concerned. Needless to say, I can assure you that much posing ensued ;)

Joint Quotes of the Day:
"In the land of the deaf, dumb and blind, William Haynes is King." - Moi
"It's like eeny-meeny-miny-mo, with a thesaurus." - Lizza, on my poetry

Happy Birthday.