Thursday, July 29, 2004
Howdy folks! It's finally time to wave 'goodbye' to KaZaA...
http://sourceforge.net/projects/dcplusplus
...and give a warm, moist (but not uncomfortably so) and hearty welcome to Direct Connect.
Well anyway; have fun, and feel free to thank me below. No Patrick, not like that...
http://sourceforge.net/projects/dcplusplus
...and give a warm, moist (but not uncomfortably so) and hearty welcome to Direct Connect.
Well anyway; have fun, and feel free to thank me below. No Patrick, not like that...
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Hello there. If you've come this far, then one can only surmise that you're already depressed beyond hope; thus, in accordance with my innate predisposition toward sadism, I am consequently obliged to provide that little something with which to send you flying over the proverbial 'edge':
"What is the definition of 'opposite sex'?"
*pause for effect*
"Sixty-nine."
Well, that's your quota for this evening; as ever, the pills are in the medicine cabinet. Bon appètit ;)
"What is the definition of 'opposite sex'?"
*pause for effect*
"Sixty-nine."
Well, that's your quota for this evening; as ever, the pills are in the medicine cabinet. Bon appètit ;)
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Well, well, well. Would you look at that? Turns out that there may have been more than one party I was 'unable' to make this week-end. Well, for want of an invitation, of course. Or even, for that matter, notification of its very existence.
Should I appear to be jumping towards premature conclusions, then please, feel free to purge me of my ignorance. Otherwise... well, fuck you; fuck you very much.
Ugh.
Should I appear to be jumping towards premature conclusions, then please, feel free to purge me of my ignorance. Otherwise... well, fuck you; fuck you very much.
Ugh.
Friday, July 02, 2004
Diallers: irritating, pervasive, subversive, malevolent, unethical and - worst of all - quite clandestine. They may be insinuated onto one's hard-drive without even the most innocuous of solicitations, whereupon they then busy themselves with the annoyingly simple task of re-routing one's dial-up connection via an inordinately expensive, premium-rate phone line (more often than not of the 'mature' variety; by which I certainly don't mean 'Hot Chess Tips for Men & Women of All Sizes'), apparently oblivious to any and all attempts on one's own part at manually curtailing the process (that is, short of physically unplugging the modem from its socket, which, if you're me, is not a viable alternative). By all accounts, they are a fairly recent phenomenon, and one in the face of which the greater part of 'traditional' PC users would seem all-but defenceless; nevertheless, I can inform you from personal experience that there is a relatively straightforward, albeit somewhat convoluted, technique by which to effect the utter eradication of these trespassers from one's premises. And so, without further ado, here it is: Ryan's simple, common-sense programme for eliminating diallers on one's PC.
If anything, one fact lies beyond dispute: the sooner you are able to tackle the root of the problem, the better (that is, unless £9,999 phone bills give you a warm, fuzzy sensation of unwitting generosity inside - oh yeah). First-off, you'll want to engage the 'tools' tab from Windows Explorer, and click 'folder options', ticking-off the box which enables the display of 'hidden files'. Next up, rummage through the 'root' directory of your computer's Hard Drive (e.g. 'C:\' on Windows Explorer), locating any files which appear out-of-place or otherwise inappropriate, bringing up their 'properties', and - should you find the date of their creation to be even marginally congruent with that of the first recorded instance upon which you began experiencing technical issues - erasing them with absolute prejudice. Perhaps ironically, and despite the manifold contrivances by which these companies would purport to conceal from you the root of your distress, you'll more often than not find that the use of an eye-catching icon and/or garish colour combination serves only to enhance their conspicuity (an icon depicting several monitors apparently daisy-chained together, being but one example. I mean, what do they take us for: MS-DOS luddites?).
Once you've accomplished this, relatively straightforward of objectives, you'll want to finish the job quickly and cleanly (unless, of course, you're a masochist, in which case you might do better to scavenge KaZaA for files with either 'Blaster' or 'Love Bug' in the tag-line). To whit, you should now proceed to open up the 'Start' menu, and engage the 'Search' function. Now, here comes the clever bit: narrow your search criteria down to artefacts (i.e. files or folders) created either on, or after, the date upon which you suspect the very first connection issues started to emerge. In my experience, dialler application files tend (rather obviously) to reside within those 'taboo' folders which most users have; but into which most users are also understandably reluctant to venture, for fear of 'dis-arranging the furniture', so to speak: namely, anything within the 'C:\Windows\system' or 'temp' folders (or, for that matter, anything under the 'Windows' denotation), the 'temporary internet files' folder, and 'C:\program files', to name but a few. If you've more or less caught this menace at its inception, you should be confronted with relatively few files created since that day with which you are wholly unfamiliar, and this will streamline the ensuing process considerably. Now, if the dialler is one of those oh-so persistent types which not only dis-connects you from your usual ISP, but stubbornly refuses all subsequent requests even to re-connect via said ISP at all, this next step should be a little simpler: depress the 'alt', 'ctrl' and 'del' keys simultaneously to bring up the 'close program' window, and scroll down the list for any non-system-critical applications (such as the ubiquitous 'systray', which should be left well alone) running in the background which appear unfamiliar, suspect, or otherwise out of the ordinary. If, on closing one of these applications, your modem emits its signature disconnection noise (traditionally a 'click' sound, although ours would seem altogether more disposed to emitting a lethargic cough and sputter as its combustion-engine slowly grinds to a halt), you'll know you've got the bugger. From the 'Search' window, (having deleted as many associated artefacts as possible, prior to this point), enter the precise name of the file you saw in 'close programs' and, once found, attempt to delete it. Now, a fairly stalwart defence mechanism lies in the fact that the program will be almost constantly active from the moment you boot up your PC, and, in addition, will more-than-likely exist under the guise of a Windows-critical file. If it repels all attempts at erasure, alt-ctrl-del again, end the program, and then re-name the offending article for good measure; this way, although the dialler may still be materially present within your system, its effectuality has been nullified.
So, there you have it. Naturally, I hereby disclaim any and all responsibility for malfunctions caused as a result of acting upon the advice aforesaid; nevertheless, I cannot profess knowledge of any viable alternative. If you know of any anti-spyware program that can resolve this problem, then feel free to post a link; however, I must confess to being rather fond of my more traditional and self-indulgent methods ;)
If anything, one fact lies beyond dispute: the sooner you are able to tackle the root of the problem, the better (that is, unless £9,999 phone bills give you a warm, fuzzy sensation of unwitting generosity inside - oh yeah). First-off, you'll want to engage the 'tools' tab from Windows Explorer, and click 'folder options', ticking-off the box which enables the display of 'hidden files'. Next up, rummage through the 'root' directory of your computer's Hard Drive (e.g. 'C:\' on Windows Explorer), locating any files which appear out-of-place or otherwise inappropriate, bringing up their 'properties', and - should you find the date of their creation to be even marginally congruent with that of the first recorded instance upon which you began experiencing technical issues - erasing them with absolute prejudice. Perhaps ironically, and despite the manifold contrivances by which these companies would purport to conceal from you the root of your distress, you'll more often than not find that the use of an eye-catching icon and/or garish colour combination serves only to enhance their conspicuity (an icon depicting several monitors apparently daisy-chained together, being but one example. I mean, what do they take us for: MS-DOS luddites?).
Once you've accomplished this, relatively straightforward of objectives, you'll want to finish the job quickly and cleanly (unless, of course, you're a masochist, in which case you might do better to scavenge KaZaA for files with either 'Blaster' or 'Love Bug' in the tag-line). To whit, you should now proceed to open up the 'Start' menu, and engage the 'Search' function. Now, here comes the clever bit: narrow your search criteria down to artefacts (i.e. files or folders) created either on, or after, the date upon which you suspect the very first connection issues started to emerge. In my experience, dialler application files tend (rather obviously) to reside within those 'taboo' folders which most users have; but into which most users are also understandably reluctant to venture, for fear of 'dis-arranging the furniture', so to speak: namely, anything within the 'C:\Windows\system' or 'temp' folders (or, for that matter, anything under the 'Windows' denotation), the 'temporary internet files' folder, and 'C:\program files', to name but a few. If you've more or less caught this menace at its inception, you should be confronted with relatively few files created since that day with which you are wholly unfamiliar, and this will streamline the ensuing process considerably. Now, if the dialler is one of those oh-so persistent types which not only dis-connects you from your usual ISP, but stubbornly refuses all subsequent requests even to re-connect via said ISP at all, this next step should be a little simpler: depress the 'alt', 'ctrl' and 'del' keys simultaneously to bring up the 'close program' window, and scroll down the list for any non-system-critical applications (such as the ubiquitous 'systray', which should be left well alone) running in the background which appear unfamiliar, suspect, or otherwise out of the ordinary. If, on closing one of these applications, your modem emits its signature disconnection noise (traditionally a 'click' sound, although ours would seem altogether more disposed to emitting a lethargic cough and sputter as its combustion-engine slowly grinds to a halt), you'll know you've got the bugger. From the 'Search' window, (having deleted as many associated artefacts as possible, prior to this point), enter the precise name of the file you saw in 'close programs' and, once found, attempt to delete it. Now, a fairly stalwart defence mechanism lies in the fact that the program will be almost constantly active from the moment you boot up your PC, and, in addition, will more-than-likely exist under the guise of a Windows-critical file. If it repels all attempts at erasure, alt-ctrl-del again, end the program, and then re-name the offending article for good measure; this way, although the dialler may still be materially present within your system, its effectuality has been nullified.
So, there you have it. Naturally, I hereby disclaim any and all responsibility for malfunctions caused as a result of acting upon the advice aforesaid; nevertheless, I cannot profess knowledge of any viable alternative. If you know of any anti-spyware program that can resolve this problem, then feel free to post a link; however, I must confess to being rather fond of my more traditional and self-indulgent methods ;)
